Outline of My Path

Worked with a group: SKS in Raleigh. Informal group at the Farm. Used to keep me inspired.

Sought living teachers: Augie, Rose, Harding, Bernadette, Burns, Shantung, Meera, put ad in magazine, searched Web, books, newsgroups.

Read books: Zen, Fourth Way, Indian, psychology, meditation, Christian Mystics, biography, Rumi,

Developed intuition (opened heart): Celibacy, desired intuition, wrote poetry, spent time alone in nature, focused on identifying my feeling state, observed K_____, worked with children, recorded dreams, prayer.

Meditated: Looked for past traumas, looked for source of thoughts, observed thoughts and feelings, Harding techniques, kept journal, Vipassana, identifying patterns of thought and action.

Isolation

Fought against fatigue: exercise, diet, and sleep experiments, finally resorted to medical help.

Resisted fears: Fear of security, shyness, heights

Simplified life: Seasonal jobs, pared down possessions, simple food, old cars.

Helped others: Developed web site, Pittsburgh group, intended to start Austin group.

Resisted temptation to settle down. Played out my temptations in my head to see where they would lead me.

Thought of my death: On plane trips, when tumor was diagnosed, intentional shocks such as viewing emotional movies (Private Ryan, Fearless, River Runs Through It)

Evaluation: Periodically evaluated progress. Set goals.

Self-discipline: fasting

Used employment to challenge areas of perceived weakness.