We hear a good deal about selfless action and the spiritual path. We feel that selflessness is a sign of spirituality and selfishness is the hallmark of the ego. We hear the ego is our great enemy, so we aspire toward selfless behavior. Yet, quite a few recognize the paradox of desiring to be selfless in order to help our self.
I suppose a person could set out to become selfless, but I don’t understand how they would summon the motivation for the job without any hope of benefit to their self. Nor do I understand how they could learn the intricacies of their personality (and subtle forms of selfishness) without a long time spent contemplating their self. I would rather see someone surprised to observe their selflessness – to see it as a side effect of their years of honest inquiry into the nature of their self.
I doubt one is completely selfless in their actions as long as they believe in the reality of their self. I find that selflessness is a natural progression on a spiritual path. The time comes when you want to help another simply because you don’t want them to go through what you went through. This shows two things: that you suffered through some roadblocks and dry spells, and that you have the capacity to recognize others in a similar situation. Consequently, it requires that you’ve worked a bit on yourself (which by definition is a selfish activity). You need to indulge in selfishness before you can operate selflessly.
Increasingly selfless behavior may be a signpost for spiritual progress, but the signpost is not the goal. It indicates we are wise enough to recognize our lack of importance in the scheme of things, yet not be detered from action.