In the business of self-discovery, we often discover much we don’t like about our personality. Studying the personality is the beginning of searching within for answers. Our initial studies reveal little about our potential divinity and much about habits learned from our parents, animal- like lusts and fears, greed, envy, pride, and an array of neuroses. We find all the illogical insanities we so easily see in our neighbors. A natural reaction is to repair these psychological defects.
The danger is in spending months and years changing behaviors that have little bearing upon our spiritual quest. We may waste vital years of our search, not searching, but sculpting the nuances of our personality to conform to standards whose origin we don’t understand. Out of the fuzzy recesses of our societal mind, come values and ethics whose validity and reality is as questionable as that of any fetish.
We could take the opposite approach and observe and let any thought and action take place. Take the philosophic stance that the observer is unaffected by anything he observes. Protest all the way to prison that we had nothing to do with the hand that stole. Find our behavior has led us to a situation that delays or dooms our attempt to discover our true nature.
Clearly, we must decide what helps and hinders our spiritual endeavors. Some personality facets must change while others do not. We must change that which prevents us from improving our observation ability, intuition, and reason. We must change that which slows our ability to search. All the while remembering that none of what we observe is very important.
For example, if you are afraid to speak to people, then your ability to help and be helped by others on the path is affected. One of the laws of success is thwarted by a personality trait. To change, keep observing the trait in action, delve into its origin, throw your self again and again into the frightening situation, laugh at the whole ridiculous process and keep trying. Eventually, will become a person who can speak when needed. It may never be pleasant, but when the need arises you can act. You don’t need a total cure, only enough to keep moving on the quest.
On the other hand, if you are afraid to speak to people who own black cats, your ability to help and be helped by others on the path is less affected. You may be occasionally inconvenienced in daily life, and irritated or embarassed by this seeming defect, but it is not worth the investment of precious time and energy to unearth the causes and change the habit.
There is no need to root out every fear and desire. Observe and look for patterns of actions, thoughts, and circumstances. To observe is to become detached. To become detached is to lessen the ego’s benefit from behaviors. Thus, behaviors whose existence is supported by egos will wither and many of our quirks will fade without direct effort. If your intuition, reason, or ability to act on the spiritual path is hindered, then make direct efforts to change.